Uhm, so I got a cucumber stuck in my ass.

[deon]

It's pretty fucking big tbh.
i been playing with my ass for ones in years and then all of the sadden the cucumber just disappeared in my ass.

at first I tried to shit it out but I knew the semi panic really made it worst, lul.
It happened like an hour ago, i'm not even fucking around right now.

anyhow, I'd have to go to the hospital but not before explaining to my mother the situation.
the thing is that she is a nurse and that will be pretty resembling for her on I'd probably gonna get hardcore stigmatized.
but yeah, I guess I'd wait for like a nice 16hours eating fruits etch 2 hours and jumping the rope etch 4 hours, if it won't come out by then. well..

https://www.emedicinehealth.com/foreign_body_rectum/article_em.htm#what_are_the_symptoms_of_foreign_body_in_rectum

>>questions
>>digital rectal examination
>>docks finger
>>maybe-a-proctoscope

and if I get any symptoms till then, well.
I also might go under the knife boys <3

 

[deon]

Overall, it's going to be a thread-meal of an experiment.
if I mange to live, then I'd be getting a job and that's pretty much it, I'm done being a fucking NEET.

 

[adolf512]

Isn't there any way to grab it and pull it out?

To prevent this from happening use cucumber that is longer than your rectum (20cm+)

 

[Creamer]

Youll be fine
Just give it time and drink water.

 

[deon]

well the good side is that I'd prob gonna have up to a week or two recovery.
so I can use the 'trauma' and get some work done instead of wasting my time.

also I'd be able to worn people about loosing shit in there asses, oh well.
hopefully I won't get sick or my recovery might just as well end up on the hospital bed.
(with is what probably gonna happen) if I do gonna get cut up.

Isn't there any way to grab it and pull it out?

it went too far, guess I'm on a fruit diet now.

Youll be fine
Just give it time and drink water.

I doubt my hourly apple concoction and rope jumping gonna do anything.
but never the less, gonna do it till tomorrow morning.

 

[Creamer]

well the good side is that I'd prob gonna have up to a week or two recovery.
so I can use the 'trauma' and get some work done instead of wasting my time.

also I'd be able to worn people about loosing shit in there asses, oh well.
hopefully I won't get sick or my recovery might just as well end up on the hospital bed.
(with is what probably gonna happen) if I do gonna get cut up.


it went too far, guess I'm on a fruit diet now.



I doubt my hourly apple concoction and rope jumping gonna do anything.
but never the less, gonna do it till tomorrow morning.

Worst case, it is hot pepper time

 

[deon]

I guess I can give it a try and take it out.
but I'd have to fit my own hand into my own anus.

I guess I'd use some sort of a soap as a lubricant, the same way they do it in jail.
I really don't want to tell it to my mother nor I wanna some old guy tingeing my butt hole.

my ass will be probably destroyed big time.
but fuck it, I better have short therm leakages.

I already can imagine myself being covered in shit, if I'd be successful then I'd post
the darn cucumber right here, fuck dude. I'm going full ass stretch mode.

 

[deon]

mission failed, fuck.
I wish I knew some gay guy who could of reached into my rectum and grab it for me.
motherfucker, fuck shit. oh well. doctor that is then, fuck my life, lul.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[Creamer]

mission failed, fuck.
I wish I knew some gay guy who could of reached into my rectum and grab it for me.
motherfucker, fuck shit. oh well. doctor that is then, fuck my life, lul.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I dont see why it wouldnt get shat eventually

 

[deon]

>mummy, I got a cucumber stuck up my ass.
>>Oh grate my son is gay, time to go to the hospital especially in pandemic time

|| she's a nurse too, with makes it even worst.

tomorrow I'd be socially humiliating myself, @adolf512 (that's ur kink)
not like I had any social life to begin with, but still.

from now and on I'd need to be more open about myself and stop hiding so many secretes.
it really drains on me and everyone around me when they discover shit like this about me.

 

[adolf512]

I just got an idea, fill your rectum with water

@Majidsdad666

You can use shower hose for this, you can try filling above the cucumber if filling at your opening doesn't work.

 

[Creamer]

You dont need your mom to go to the doctor tho

 

[deon]

I just got an idea, fill your rectum with water

cucumber is too big, guess lube might work.
but don't have any, so the only way is probably surgery.


anyhow, I'd post here if I get access to a computer
coz I'd be hospitalized for sure, I'd probably going to get a fever too so that's like staying in isolation by myself
in a shitty hospital for about 2 weeks before I be resumed clear or whatever. That's just grate, lol.

@Majidsdad666 really have finally committed the stupidest act of his life so far.
some people committed even worst mistakes, so I'm pretty lucky compered to them.

You dont need your mom to go to the doctor tho

she gonna drive me there regardless.

 

[deon]

 

[adolf512]

The water thing should work even with big cucumber, water will actually work as a lube, just not ideal.

 

[deon]

time estimate of the cucumber being inside me [7h/6h].

I felt the sudden urge to shit and guess what boiis !!!
HAHAha!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
by far I ate 1 apple etch 2 hours.
total of apples eaten [3]

before the cucumber getting stuck up my ass I had
potato and a bit of beef.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

It just came out, like nothing happened.
apparently the pickle was covered in shit, as expected.
and apparently the shit wormed and lubricated the cucumber so it made an easy exit.

that was intense, my butt hole is loose as fuck too, fuck me.. that was a good experiment.

 

[Creamer]

time estimate of the cucumber being inside me [7h/6h].

I felt the sudden urge to shit and guess what boiis !!!
HAHAha!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
by far I ate 1 apple etch 2 hours.
total of apples eaten [3]

before the cucumber getting stuck up my ass I had
potato and a bit of beef.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

It just came out, like nothing happened.
apparently the pickle was covered in shit, as expected.
and apparently the shit wormed and lubricated the cucumber so it made an easy exit.

that was intense, my butt hole is loose as fuck too, fuck me.. that was a good experiment.

good to here, but I have the feeling you will shove more dangerous stuff in the future.

 

[deon]

 

[UCopeia]

Classic thread, this is lore worthy of future discussions.

 

[oenz]

Should of went to bad dragon or got a dildo.